p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
