What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
