During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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