i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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