Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
