Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
