So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize