i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
