Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
