At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
