I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
