I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
