I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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