Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
