? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
