bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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