I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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