Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The adults are the big ones right?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
