he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
