i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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