We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
