just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm both gender and math confused
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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