I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
