Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
