we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize