Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
