Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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