you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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