My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Please don't give away my fajitas
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
