I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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