ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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