covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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