Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You were trust falling into bushes
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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