i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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