I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
