i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
