wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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