just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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