Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Randomize
