Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
