were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
