Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
