Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
why is half of my head shaved?
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