So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
