when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
