420 ftw
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
