i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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