I got chris browned last night
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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