We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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