dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
