so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize