so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
