No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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