I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
