I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize