From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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