So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
