i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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