Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
