she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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