end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
